


Damn everything else

by Julieseven



Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Boys In Love, First Kiss, Love Confessions, M/M, bloody nose, mention of violence, they take care of each other, this is cheesy as hell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-09
Updated: 2018-03-09
Packaged: 2019-03-28 19:03:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13910250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Julieseven/pseuds/Julieseven
Summary: Adam thinks he can never tell Mikki how he feels about him. But then Mikki gets into trouble and Adam has no choice but to do ...something.This takes place in the verse of my Big Bang Fic "Second glances", which is a Yousana centred fic. Time-line wise it fits into chapter two, one night before Yousef sees Adam perform on stage at the club.





	Damn everything else

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cynical_optimist](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cynical_optimist/gifts).



> This one-shot is a gift to my sweet darling Lyd, who first awakened my love for Mikadam, the most underestimated mlm SKAM ship ... I LOVE YOU LYD!! THANK YOU for everything and for being who you are!
> 
> I want to say thank you to my betas: Kit, Sarah, Paula and Lou! Thank you so much my lovelies!! ❤

“Thanks, Adam, that was awesome! You’ll rock this stage tomorrow night.” Gerald claps appreciatively, winking at you from the side of the stage. “Now go home and relax, you deserve it.”

 

“Yes, thanks Gerald,” you tell him, giving him a thumbs-up.

 

The owner of the LAWO club in Oslo is one of the first people besides your friends who has truly believed in you, and it’s still rather humbling. He saw you spit some rhymes at a party Elias threw almost four years ago and a few months later, he invited you to perform at his club. Three years after that first gig, you're far more successful than you had ever hoped to be. And because you would never have made it without Gerald, you make sure to play a gig at his club at least twice a year. For free of course; your mother has taught you that friendships are priceless, and although Gerald is significantly older than you, he is one of your closest friends.

 

“I have to make some calls, but I’ll see you tomorrow at five okay?” Gerald says and shakes your hand with a content smile.

 

“Yes, see you tomorrow,” you call after him and then walk to the centre of the stage, taking a deep breath.

 

“He’s right, you were great,” you hear your favourite voice in the world from the middle of the room.

 

Mikki approaches the stage, smiling happily at you, and the proud look in his eyes sends a shiver down your spine. In moments like this you’re always tempted to throw all caution to the wind and just launch yourself at him, not paying attention to anyone who might disapprove.

 

The two of you have always been close, but until recently you figured it was just because you grew up together. Mikki was the brother you’ve always wished you had. But a few weeks ago, that conviction started to crumble. Actually, it was blown to bits in one single moment that you remember much more vividly than you would ever admit to anyone.

 

You were at a party at Jonas’s kollektiv. Almost everyone you knew in Oslo was there, and among the guests was Tanja, a German aupair Eskild had met in a club the night before. She was tall, with long blonde hair and gorgeous brown eyes and liked to drink as much as Eskild, which is why they got along well. Every boy and some of the girls at the party were eyeing her lustfully, but she only had eyes for Mikki.

 

At first you thought the reason you didn't like her was that she was only going to break Mikki’s heart when she left after her aupair year. But when she asked Mikki to dance and you felt the urge to take his hand and pull him away, you started to doubt yourself. And when Mikki sputtered an “uh, sure,” and let Tanja drag him onto the dancefloor in the middle of the living room, you knew that the fire in your stomach had nothing to do with feeling protective about Mikki.

 

Ever since that night you've been trying to figure out how Mikki feels. Thankfully he never hooked up with Tanja- as far as you know, at least. But you have no idea if the frequent touches, the long hugs, and the lingering looks mean the same to Mikki as they have begun to mean to you.

 

And it's not like you can just ask one of the others, since you have unfortunately been quite an idiot in the past. You used to tell homophobic jokes before Even started dating Isak, and sometimes even afterwards, until Elias told you off for being an “idiotic asshole” one day.

 

You've never actually been homophobic, but you are worried about what people would think if you were to come out. A gay rapper: that sounds like a recipe for disaster. As much as you wish that your favourite music genre was as welcoming for people who aren't straight, the reality looks different.

 

And of course, you're terrified that Mikki would reject you anyway. Not just because you're afraid he doesn't like guys, but mostly because you think he would call you a hypocrite and never talk to you again.

 

“Adam, are you okay?” Mikki’s voice reaches your ears as if from far away, and you have to shake your head to come to your senses.

 

Mikki is standing at the edge of the stage, grinning up at you as if he knows exactly what is going on in your head.

 

“Uh, yeah,” you tell him, blushing slightly. “I'll go get my jacket and stuff. Be right out.”

 

Mikki nods and steps back, winking at you. “Sure. The boys texted; they’re already at Bislett,” he tells you, and the thought of kebab makes your stomach grumble.

 

“Awesome, I'm starving.” You walk towards the side of the stage and then turn to Mikki, who’s already halfway across the room.

 

“I’ll wait outside,” he calls and you give him a thumbs-up before walking backstage.

 

You get your jacket from the dressing room and just when you’ve checked if your phone and wallet are still in your pockets, you hear a strangled scream that sounds like it’s coming from outside.

 

The blood in your veins turns to ice. Without thinking, you rush through the hallway to the main room of the bar, rushing past Gerald who frowns at you, but by the time you’re finally at the front door, there is no sight of Mikki.

 

Your heart is in your throat and you have to close your eyes for a second, hating yourself for not following your instincts earlier.

 

_When you and Mikki arrived at the club, giggling and holding hands, five boys stopped you just before you could go inside. “Can you sign my hat? I'm a big fan,” one of them said, and in spite of the smile on his face, you instantly felt uncomfortable. He and his friends eyed you and Mikki suspiciously, and you let go of Mikki’s hand, hoping they hadn't noticed you were holding it. Mikki threw you a worried look but you just smiled back at the guy, taking his hat and the pen he was holding out to you from him and asking what his name was._

 

_“I'll tell you, but only if you promise me that you’re not a fag,” he said nonchalantly, making his friends laugh. You froze, hearing Mikki suck in a sharp breath, but you couldn’t move._

 

_Finally, the guy laughed and patted your shoulder, but the look in his eyes was cold. “Just kidding, I'm Stefan,” he told you, and you did your best to smile back before holding up the snapback to write ‘for Stefan from Ezzari’ onto the front._

 

_Stefan patted your shoulder, but he and his friends kept laughing in a way that sent cold shivers down your spine, and you were very glad when you and Mikki were finally inside. And although they were walking away, you couldn’t shake the feeling that they weren’t going far._

 

Now you wish you had at least told Gerald about those five boys. And although you’re already panicking, you decide to not think the worst and see if maybe Mikki just went ahead to the kebab restaurant to meet the boys.

 

Digging your phone out of your pocket with shaking hands, you dial Even’s number. He picks up after the second ring. “Hey man, are you guys coming?” he says cheerfully, and your heart sinks.

 

“Mikki isn’t there yet, is he?” you ask in lieu of a greeting, forcing yourself to keep your voice calm.

 

“No, he was with you at the club, wasn’t he? Aren’t you guys coming together?” Even asks, sounding confused.

 

“Mikki said he’d wait for me outside the club, but he’s not here, and I swear I heard someone scream a minute ago,” you tell him, your voice getting higher with every word.

 

“Shit, do you think-” Even begins but you don’t let him finish.

 

“I have to go, I’ll call you when I find him,” you say and hang up, stuffing your phone into your pocket and looking around.

 

It’s already dark by now and the street is quiet. Too quiet. You can’t hear a sound from anywhere. Panic rises in your throat and you finally decide to just start walking. After all, you’re not going to find Mikki if you just stay put.

 

You roam the alleys and streets near the club for what feels like hours, calling Mikki’s name every few metres and becoming more desperate with every passing minute.

 

How long has it been since you left the club? You have no idea. Maybe you should call the police, but what will you tell them? You’re about to pull out your phone and call Even again when you hear a whimper from somewhere nearby.

 

Following the sound into an alley on your right, you ignore the uncomfortable thumping of your heart, hoping against all odds that Mikki is okay. And then, you finally see him.

 

Mikki is cowering between two dumpsters, his head resting on his arms, which are covered in bloody scratches. Getting closer, you see that his hair is plastered to his head by some sort of liquid. His jacket is lying in front of him, and by the looks of it, it’s been torn to pieces. When you approach him, a distinct smell makes you wrinkle your nose.

 

 _Beer_ . Those fucking bastards poured beer over Mikki - _your_ Mikki.

 

Taking a deep breath to rein in your rage, you crouch down in front of him. But before you can reach out to touch him, Mikki flinches, curling into himself and bringing his arms up to cover his head.

 

“No,” he yells, sounding angry and scared at the same time.

 

“Shh, Mikki, its me, Adam,” you say as softly as possible, and when Mikki finally looks up, it’s all you can do not to punch the wall.

 

His right eyelid looks swollen and red, and his nose is dripping with blood.

 

“I’ll kill them,” you hiss, reaching out to gingerly cup Mikki’s face with your palm.

 

He lets out a mirthless laugh. “No, you can’t kill your own fans,” he spits, confirming your suspicions about who did this to him, and the defeated look in Mikki’s eyes makes your heart hurt. Maybe that's why you don’t even think before shaking your head and blurting out:

 

“I don’t care Mikki. They can go to hell.” You take a deep breath and wait for him to look into your eyes. What you just said should surprise you as much as Mikki, particularly the fact that you said it out loud. But it's true, and the moment the words have left your mouth you feel thoroughly relieved. You hate that it took Mikki being beaten up by some idiots for you to realise it, but you really don’t give a shit about what anyone thinks, at least not anymore.

 

Searching your pockets, you find a clean handkerchief and very gingerly wipe at least some of the blood off of Mikki’s face. He holds still, watching you warily, as if he’s not sure what’s going on.

“If they think it’s okay to beat you to a pulp, they don’t deserve to call themselves my fans,” you go on when you’re done, stuffing the bloody handkerchief back into your pocket.

 

Mikael shakes his head as his hand finds your upper arm. “They beat me up because they think that we …” he trails off, looking at his hand. The sad sigh that escapes his lips suddenly makes it very easy for you to say what you should have said a long time ago.

 

“So what if we are, Mikk?” you blurt out, gently lifting Mikael’s chin to make him look at you again. His eyes go wide but you go on before he can say anything. “I don’t care what anyone thinks, okay? Not anymore.”

 

You carefully cup his face with both hands, smiling at him. Mikael’s eyes are about to pop out of his head by the looks of it, but then he purses his lips before smiling back weakly.

 

“But Adam, that could mean …” he interrupts himself, blinking a few times before going on. “That could ruin your career.”

 

You shake your head, kneeling down and leaning your forehead against Mikael’s. “Fuck my career. If I can’t have it while being … with you, then I don’t want it.”

 

That makes Mikki suck in a breath, but you just nod slowly, holding his gaze to make sure he knows you’re serious.

 

You should be afraid of what this means. But instead of fear, an overwhelming wave of relief washes over you. The weight you’ve had on your shoulders ever since an interviewer asked why you dedicated your song “Everything” to Mikki falls off like a heavy cloak.

 

“You’re nuts,” Mikki whispers softly, curling his fingers around your wrists. The look in his eyes sends a shiver down your spine. You’re about to tell him he’s right when you get another whiff of beer, which reminds you of the state Mikki’s in. Looking down at his arms, you notice he’s shivering violently.

 

“Here, put this on,” you say, shrugging off your hoodie and wrapping it around Mikki’s shoulders.

 

“No, don’t, I’m all … gross” he tries to protest, but you press a kiss to his cheek, the taste of beer reminding you of the assholes who did this to him. How anyone could harm someone as kind and gentle as Mikki is inconceivable to you.

 

“I don't give a damn,” you whisper, nudging Mikki’s cheek with your nose before clearing your throat. “Let’s get you out of here, come on.”

 

Mikki groans when you pull him to his feet and you look down to see he’s not putting weight on his right leg. “One of them ... stepped on my ankle,” he explains, grinning uneasily.

 

“I’ll kill them,” you grumble for the second time in five minutes, and this time, Mikki just chuckles in response while you wrap an arm around his waist.

 

Earlier tonight, when you ran into those five idiots, you were careful not to touch Mikki to prevent their suspicious glances from becoming aggressive. But now, you couldn’t care less whether or not anyone is watching.

 

Before the two of you leave the alley, you help Mikki lean against a wall and zip up your hoodie to keep him warm. “There,” you whisper, winking at him and pulling the hood over his head to hide his beer-drenched hair.

 

You then pull out your phone and clear your throat. “I’ll tell the boys I found you, they’re waiting for us,” you explain and tap Elias’s contact this time, holding the phone up between your and Mikki’s face and setting it on speaker.

 

Seeing Mikki’s worried expression, you smile at Mikki, who grins back uneasily. “I’ll take you home, alright? Kebab can wait,” you murmur, leaning your forehead against his- carefully avoiding the bruise starting to form around his eye- and resting your free hand on his neck. Mikki lets out a long breath, nodding gratefully. You stay like this while waiting for Elias to answer the phone.

 

He finally picks up after the third ring. “Did you find him?” he asks, not bothering with a greeting.

 

Both of you answer “Yes” at the same time, Mikki adding: “I’m right here, bro.” You’re glad to notice that his voice sounds almost normal again. He’s even smiling a little.

 

“Alhamdulillah,” Elias exclaims, and you can hear Yousef and Mutta calling Mikki’s name from the background.

 

“What the fuck happened?” Elias then asks, making you and Mikki exchange a look. But before either of you can reply, Elias goes on. “Wait, Even and Isak are paying for their kebabs, they’ll want to hear this too.”

 

He calls for Isak and Even, and then you hear Mutta and Yousef yelling into the phone at the same time. “Mikki, are you okay?” Yousef wants to know as Mutta just asks “Are you guys still coming?”

 

With a sigh, you roll your eyes at Mikki, who lets out a short giggle. “Mikki’s fine. Some bastards felt the need to … attack him, and now he has a really big beer stain on his pants,” you explain, and Mikki’s grateful smile is so bright you almost forget to breathe.

 

“Someone threw beer at you? What the fuck?” Yousef calls out and you can almost see him frown in front of your inner eye. Apparently, Elias, Even and Isak have returned to the table now because you can hear Mutta repeat your words to them in the background.

 

Mikki takes a deep breath and clears his throat. “We’ll explain later, I just … I have to go home and change my pants,” he says, and you feel him wrap an arm around your waist, pulling you a little closer. You have to press your lips together to avoid letting out a comfortable sigh.

 

“Alright, just … call us if you need anything, okay?” you hear Even’s voice then. He sounds concerned, but you don’t wait for anyone to start asking more questions.

 

“We will let you know, yeah,” you say, trying to sound as casual as possible.

 

You can tell that the boys are still worried, but they dutifully say their goodbyes and then you hang up, putting your phone back in your pocket. “Sorry, I didn’t think …” you begin, but Mikki shakes his head.

 

“Thank you,” he whispers, his warm breath tickling your face and sending a shiver down your spine. Mikki’s hands find your waist and he pulls you even closer, forcing you to bite your lower lip to hold back a whimper. You feel as if you were drowning in his beautiful brown eyes as you wrap both arms around his waist and press a kiss to his cheek, making him sigh softly. Your noses bump together and you think Mikki is going to close the distance …

 

Mikki’s phone rings in his pocket, making the two of you jump apart.

 

He blinks at you a few times, as if he’d just woken up, and then reaches for his phone. It is pretty wet, but luckily it isn’t broken. “Mamma,” Mikki tells you with an apologetic grin before picking up. “Hey mamma.”

 

You can’t resist touching Mikki again, so you wrap an arm around his shoulders while he speaks to his mother, reassuring her that he’s on his way home, and you wish you could ask him to stay over at your place. Mikki leans into your embrace and as if he heard your thoughts, he suddenly looks up at you, a mischievous smile on his face. “Actually,” he says pointedly, watching you for a second before he goes on. “I think I’ll sleep over at Adam’s. See you tomorrow?”

 

And then he winks at you, making you swallow hard, but of course you nod at him. “Alright, bye mamma,” Mikki says cheerfully before hanging up and handing his phone to you. “Can I give you this? My pocket is drenched.”

 

“Sure,” you tell him, letting go of him to take his phone from him and wiping it clean with the sleeve of your shirt. “So, you’re staying over?” you ask as casually as possible, carefully putting Mikki’s phone in your back pocket next to your own.

 

“If that’s okay? I don’t want mamma to see me like this,” Mikki explains, pointing to his eye while biting his lower lip.

 

Wrapping an arm around his waist again, you gesture for Mikki to put his weight on you and start leading him out of the alley towards the tram stop across the street.

 

“No problem, Mikki, I get it,” you say quietly, and the relieved laugh he lets out makes you want to kiss him so badly it almost hurts. How can he even think you wouldn’t let him stay over after what happened tonight? After what you admitted to him?

 

The tram ride home is quiet. At the station, you sit Mikki down on a bench and run across the street to buy two sandwiches at a 7-Eleven. The two of you devour them in the five minutes you have to wait for the next tram, and on the ride home, Mikki almost falls asleep on your shoulder. You end up half-carrying him down the street to your house, your heart feeling fuller by the minute.

 

If Mikki wasn’t so sticky and cold you would keep carrying him around all night, his body pressed against yours and his head resting on your shoulder. You’ve never felt this close to him, both physically and emotionally, and you never want to let him go.

 

Thankfully, your parents aren’t home: They’re visiting a cousin in Bergen for a few days, so you and Mikki have the apartment to yourselves. The thought should make you nervous, but instead you’re just glad you won’t have to explain anything.

 

Once you’re in your family’s apartment, you hand Mikki a fresh towel, your favourite pair of black sweatpants and a Wu-Tang Clan T-shirt. “I’ll be in my room,” you tell him and Mikki nods gratefully.

 

“You rock, man,” he says quietly, watching you with a warm expression that makes your spine tingle. For a moment, he just stands there, until he suddenly darts forward and presses a quick kiss to your lips. You suck in a shocked breath, but before you can react, Mikki has already disappeared into the bathroom.

 

Touching your lips with the fingers of your right hand, you smile to yourself, thinking that this evening can only get better now.

 

While Mikki showers, you remember that he has a few scratches on his arms that need taking care of. Luckily, your mum is a nurse and has taught you a few things about wound treatment.

 

You get the first aid kit from the kitchen and then head to your room, quickly picking up a few stray socks and T-shirts to toss them into the hamper next to your closet. You sit down on your bed and take a deep breath, and that’s when it finally hits you.

 

Mikki kissed you. Just for a split second, but his lips were on yours. You can still feel them, and while you know that the two of you should talk, you just want to kiss him again. Properly this time.

 

You have just finished changing into sweatpants and a T-shirt yourself when Mikki appears in your room, smelling of apple shampoo and looking devastatingly handsome in your clothes- apart from the nasty bruise around his eye.

 

“Better?” you ask him, smiling nervously.

 

Mikki smiles back and nods, plopping down on the bed next to you. “Much better.”

 

“I have to take care of the scratches on your arms,” you say quickly, motioning for Mikki to sit down.

 

Mikki nods hesitantly and gestures to the first aid kit lying between the two of you on the mattress. “I see you’re prepared,” he says, sounding amused.

 

“Shut up and hold still,” you grumble, getting to your feet and opening the little box to retrieve a plaster and some disinfectant.

 

You manage not to look into Mikki’s eyes while applying the disinfectant and carefully placing the plaster on the biggest scratch on Mikki’s left arm. You do the same with two more scratches, trying not to think of how Mikki got them.

 

Mikki holds very still and only when you’re done you notice that his hands are resting on the backs of your thighs.

 

“Adam,” he whispers and you finally dare look into his eyes again. They’re full of warmth, but also concern and you’re suddenly worried that he’s going to tell you to back off. Holding your breath, you wait for him to go on.

 

“I know we should talk, but right now, I just … want to lie down here with you, okay? I don’t care about anything else.” Mikki’s voice sounds hesitant, but the look in his eyes makes your heart beat faster and melt at the same time.

 

You nod slowly and then put the first aid kit down on the floor beside your bed, all without taking your eyes off Mikki’s. Bringing your hands up to cup his face, you brush his nose with your own, revelling in the little sigh that escapes him.

 

“Damn everything else,” you whisper against his lips before finally claiming them with yours.

 

You don’t know what you expected, but the way Mikki melts into the kiss makes your entire body shiver. His fingers tighten on the backs of your thighs as he kisses you back, and you move closer until your knees hit the mattress, gently tilting Mikki’s chin up to deepen the kiss.

 

Mikki lets out a soft sigh that almost makes your knees buckle. As if he could tell, Mikki reaches for your hips and pulls you onto his lap so you’re straddling his legs. You gasp with surprise, but Mikki just smiles smugly and wraps both arms around your middle, pulling you flush against his chest. “I’ve wanted to do this for so long,” he breathes before kissing you again.

 

“Same,” you breathe back, burying one hand in Mikki’s hair and wrapping your other arm around his shoulders. Mikki runs his hands up along your spine as you press your lips to his, more urgently this time.

 

Closing your eyes, you feel all hesitation and doubt fall away from you like leaves from a tree. Your body feels as light as a feather, making you braver than you ever thought you could be.

 

Mikki’s lips part against yours, making you sigh into his mouth as he leans forward, gripping your hips tightly to hold you in place. You’re beginning to feel dizzy, so you wrap both arms around Mikki’s shoulders, holding on to him as if for dear life while he keeps kissing you into oblivion.

 

“Should we ...,” Mikki pants against your lips after a while, waiting for you to look at him. “Should we lie down?” he asks when your eyes meet his, and the sight of his puffy lips, damp, messed up hair, and pink cheeks almost makes you forget to answer. He looks wrecked, but breathtakingly gorgeous.

 

“Uh, sure.” You clear your throat and climb off Mikki’s lap, not taking your eyes off of him. He sighs comfortably as the two of you lie down on your bed, facing each other. You pull up the duvet over both of you, still struggling to believe this is all really happening.

 

“Are you still hungry?” you ask quietly, twisting a strand of Mikki’s hair between two fingers, but he just shakes his head.

 

“I'm good,” he whispers, leaning forward to gingerly bump your nose with his own as his hand finds your neck. You close your eyes and reach for his waist as Mikki kisses you. It's a soft kiss, a barely-there touch of lips, but it sends a shiver through your entire body nonetheless. Somehow, having Mikki here in your own bed, touching you like he's longed for it as long as you have, makes all of this so much more real.

 

“How's your nose?” you breathe against his mouth without opening your eyes. Mikki chuckles and presses his lips to yours again before he replies.

 

“A bit sore, but it will be okay.” He sighs and shuffles a little closer, running his hand up along your back and burrowing his face at your neck.

 

You reach up to knot your fingers into his hair and circle your other arm around Mikki’s head, as if to protect him. “I still want to kill those guys,” you whisper into his hair and feel him chuckle.

 

“I don't. Actually, I almost want to thank them,” Mikki says quietly and presses a kiss to your collarbone. “I don’t think we would be here now if it hadn't been for them.”

 

You feel guilt twisting in your stomach and open your eyes to look at him, but before you can apologise again, Mikki goes on. “Don't apologise, please. They would have attacked me anyway, I'm just glad you found me.”

 

He lifts his head and moves back a little to look into your eyes. You think for a moment, your fingers still playing with Mikki’s hair.

 

“I just hate that it took you getting hurt for me to be brave enough to do something,” you murmur, holding Mikki’s gaze.

 

He makes a face and shrugs. “Shit happens, Adam. So what? My nose and this,” he points to his right eye, “will heal. And you and I … we’ll figure things out.”

 

You smile happily at the calm, reassuring tone of Mikki’s voice and close your eyes again. “Sounds good,” you mumble as Mikki pulls you into his arms and kisses your forehead.

 

Mikki chuckles into your hair after a while, making you grumble questioningly.

 

“Do you think the boys know?” he wonders, and the thought makes you stiffen in Mikki’s arms. He notices and shushes you softly, pressing a kiss to your cheek. “Don't worry, we don't have to tell them yet.”

 

Taking a deep breath, you shrug, smiling against Mikki’s neck. “I just know Isak and Elias will not stop teasing us for a long time.”

 

You feel Mikki nod as he laughs softly and then kisses your forehead. “I think we’ll survive,” he whispers, but you hardly hear him anymore.

 

“Mhm,” you sigh comfortably, burrowing further into the crook at Mikki’s neck. And with Mikki’s fingers drawing slow circles onto your back, you drift off to sleep.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  



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